This post isn't what I would normally write. It isn't a rant about the current music scene, it isn't a review of a wonderful book or film, it isn't even an interview. This is something that, more than anything, is something that is going to help me. It's something that I've kept bottled up for a long time and it's done me no favours mentally. You might not be interested, or you might be, either way is fine with me. I'm writing this post to talk about my darling pet Molly who was sadly taken way before her time in June this year.
Where do I begin? Molly came into my life in July 2003 when I was seven years old. I'll always remember the day I saw her for the first time in June '03- she and her three siblings lived on a farm and were in a box filled with blankets for people to come and see them. My Mum had already told me that when I found the one, my heart would tell me, and that's exactly what happened. Being a rather small seven year old, I had to lean over the box to see into it, I saw Molly and fell in love instantly. She greeted me with her beautiful little meow and I knew she was the one. The following two weeks were the longest of my life as I had to wait for her to be weaned off of her mum before I could bring her home.
Then the day finally arrived that she could come home, and my life was never the same again. She instantly became my best friend in the whole world, she never left my side at all. When I was learning to ride a bike, she'd manage to balance in the opening of the bathroom window just so she could see me, and she'd know when I was about to come indoors and would run downstairs to greet me at the door. All through the final years of primary school, when I'd have friends round she had to be amongst the fun and would walk across everyone before picking the lap she'd spend the evening sleeping on. There are quite a few home videos that I have of her running around the house playing with her toys and making everyone laugh- she was a tiny cat and could squeeze herself into the tightest corners and manage to get herself back out again, although not always in the most dignified way!
I had many other pets during this time, including a mouse, two hamsters (aptly named Gerry 1 and Gerry 2- I was an imaginative child), a cockatiel (Jay), a rabbit (Sky) and many fish. Molly would make sure they knew that she was boss and would spend hours staring into the cages of the hamsters and mouse or playing with Sky and Jay. She had her quirky personality traits and they were all more reasons why I loved her.
Starting secondary school in 2007 was a rather stressful time for me- I don't adapt to change very well and would find myself cuddling Molly a lot of the time when I got home whilst I was getting used to new people and a new environment. By this time Molly was four years old and had developed such strong feelings for me that it was near impossible to spend a night away from her without being told by my Mum that she was being naughty by swiping things off of my windowsill because she was missing me. Countless evenings I'd find myself doing my homework with her curled up on me or playing chase with my pens across the floor.
In the summer of 2008 I went on holiday for a month and left Molly in the loving care of my mum, who would ring me most evenings and update me on what Molly had done to be naughty because she missed me. We'd both found it fascinating how an animal could form such a strong bond with a human that she'd make her feelings known. One thing that did worry me during this time was the fact that she was also eating her fur around her tail, so when I got home we took her to the vet- they told us that she had separation anxiety when I wasn't in her sight and that it was quite common among animals with such a strong bond for their owner. In a strange sort of way it was like a love story, I couldn't bear to be away from her and she couldn't stand being without me.
The next few years were very rough for me for a number of reasons. Going through the inevitable changes of being a teenager was one, GCSE exams were another, and there were other reasons that I'm not going to talk about. But during all of these things, it was always Molly I'd turn to to cuddle, to cry into, to talk to and to make me smile. It had gotten to the point where she'd even sleep in my bed with me and would wake me up by gently tapping my face in the mornings asking for her breakfast. She was my best friend and made all of the issues surrounding that time a lot easier with her calming purr.
I then finished school and started college in 2012, finally escaping the suppressing feelings from teachers and being able to properly be me- out came the obscenely bright red hair and the equally bright clothes. Because of the course I studied at college, I only had to attend for three days a week with the other days for doing coursework. When I wasn't at college I'd usually be writing essays/articles at home with Molly either curled up next to me, on me or on my laptop- many a time did she manage to add random letters and numbers into my work with her paws and then look at me with her gorgeous green eyes as if to say 'I can write too!'.
The best days of the year- the birthdays and Christmas- were never complete without Molly and her love of wrapping paper and having a present bow stuck to her. For all the Christmases shared with her, waking up ridiculously early in the morning and being hyper all day seemed to rub off on her as she'd be the same. I remember one Christmas a few years ago where I'd bought her some catnip treats- she took one sniff of them and was crazy for about an hour, bombing around the house and playing with everything she could find. Her love of being the centre of attention never left her and each birthday I had friends over she'd do her usual of sniffing each person before choosing one to sleep on.
She made every day spent with her a special one, but the most special day we shared was my 18th birthday in February of this year. My Mum had booked a photoshoot for me as my main present and had chosen a photographer who would allow Molly to come with us. For those two hours at the photography studio, Molly made sure she was the highlight. She didn't need to be put in front of the camera and made to stay there, she did it all herself and it was a wonderful thing to watch. I've got over 400 little prints from the shoot, and Molly is the centre of the majority of them. Mum and I decided on three to be made as canvases for our front room wall, one of them including Molly, and I chose a few of Molly and I for my bedroom. I haven't just got amazing memories of that day, I've also got the perfect keepsakes.
So that has brought me up to the early part of this year. What happened in the months following that perfect day would change my life forever.
At around the end of May/beginning of June, I'd noticed that Molly wasn't eating as much as she used to and was sleeping a lot more than usual. I knew she was getting old, and being 11 years old and me not knowing much about her family history, that's what I put it down to at first. But it got slowly worse. She was having trouble standing up for anything longer than a few seconds, she couldn't jump up on the sofa and had taken to spending all her time laying in the corner. I then started to think that maybe she had teeth problems (something she'd suffered from in the past) and maybe a little arthritis, so she was booked in to see the vet on 19th June. Expecting it to be something easily treatable with pills, I wasn't worried too much, which is what made it hit hard when I was told what the problem was. The lovely vet, Alicia, checked Molly's eyes, ears, teeth and legs and found no issues, but then she felt Molly's tummy. Alicia asked me to feel it too, and what I felt made me feel sick. A lump the size of a tennis ball was in Molly's little tummy. The rest of that conversation with the vet is a blur to me, but I remember being told to 'take Molly home for the weekend and bring her back on Monday'.
For those four days I cried constantly, Mum cried constantly, and I'm sure I even saw tears in Molly's eyes. I slept in the front room with her, I didn't leave her side for any length of time and I spent every precious second I could with her. That weekend was the hardest time of my life, and it ended far too soon. Monday evening came and we made that terrible journey back to the vets. At 6pm on June 23rd, my beautiful darling angel fell asleep in my arms and took with her a part of me.
Molly was cremated and was brought home in a gorgeous wooden cat shaped casket. She now has her own little corner of the front room where a photo from my birthday is, her casket is and a candle is lit at 6pm every night. The Saturday after that I got Molly's left paw print tattooed on my left ankle so she'll always walk with me.
My life will never be the same, I doubt I'll ever have another pet that shares such a strong bond with me. Molly was a one-of-a-kind, she was so precious and special and I treasure every moment I shared with her.
You'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever.
